The Apprentice - Episode 2

Quick thoughts on this weeks show:

Anytime anyone on the Apprentice says they are an expert in any field they inevitably end up getting fired. Whilst Yasmina stepped up to the plate (like the pun?!) despite questions from Debra it was Rocky I feared for most as he rattled off his accomplishments in the catering trade.

Yasmina, although very bossy and not allowing any input from her team members seemed to take control, her idea of Mediterranean food was simple and yet could be passed off as quite classy. The guys on the other hand decided to go with sarnies! Surely not the best way to impress a bunch of city slickers! Their Olympic theme also sounded a bit naff and when Rocky suggested the lads dress up in their Olympic clothes I could see a taxi with his name looming ominously.

And in true Apprentice tradition, we got our first cringeworthy pitch/presentation. This time Kate floundered and fluffed her way through a meeting where she admitted she had no clue and referring to Bruschetta as a cold canopy! Back in the car, the ever optimistic Debra moaned that they had already blown the task! Two weeks in and she's already annoying me.

Rocky's next blunder came when he set his team's price per head at £65. Philip looked like an idiot as he tried to pitch it to his customers having to eventually agree to £15 per head. Meanwhile Yasmina's cost cutting seemed to get pretty scary when she went crazy in Asda buying all the cheap stuff to keep her costs down. Man, if I was a customer at her place I'd think twice about the quality of her fare! Her skimping meant her team got humilated when they went to drop off their orders.

But if the girl's food looked bad, the guys came out with kids party food! I'm sure I saw doritos with bits of tomato on them! No wonder they made a loss!

In the boardroom Rocky got the boot even though it looked like James was gonna get it. For some reason Howard reckoned that Rocky should have stayed and one of the other 4 should have gone. I think SAS got it right by sacking the Rock!

Best line of the night came from Nick, when accused of walking around not doing a lot, Noorul tried to deny this fact, but Nick hit hime with "Well I watched you very carefully, In fact I made it my buisiness to watch you for sometime". That's scary!

Right now my favourite is probably Lorraine, she spotted that her team had over spent last week and this week she worked hard and tried to stay positive despite Debra the poison ivy giving up.

The Apprentice - Series 5 epsiode 1

I thought I'd make a few brief comments on the first epsiode of the new series of The Apprentice. First off here's a recap taken from the BBC website:

Project Managers: Mona - Ignite, Howard - Empire

Sir Alan wants to see the candidates get their hands dirty in this task. They've got ten hours to bring in the cash by cleaning and they've got up to £200 to spend on industrial cleaning materials.

Under pressure to start making money, the boys are fast to secure a contract to valet 30 mini cabs. Howard sends half the team to the cab forecourt, while he takes his half out shoe-shining. Back at HQ the girls' faff about choosing their cleaning products. 'Well done,' lawyer Anita announces, as the girls tot up £196 on materials, 'you've spent your budget wisely'.

How hard is it to clean a car? Back on the forecourt the hyped boys' team announce, 'we're Muppets if we can't do these 30 cars. If you're not fast you're going to be last'. Fast forward to 4 pm and only a few cars have been finished and most to a poor standard. Project manager Howard abandons his shoe shining and swoops in to speed up the valeting service.

The girls struggle with their business too. Their offer of £250 for three Hummers is refused. The client usually pays £20 per car. Car cleaning proves lucrative, but it's harder work than they imagined. Debra's splinter team have secured an opportunity to clean a showroom of classic cars, but after taking three hours to clean four cars and smearing a Mustang with shoe polish, the un-amused manager sends the girls packing.

At 7 pm, back in the boardroom the efforts of each team become clear. The girls make ten pounds more than the boys, but lose the task due to the £196 they spent on materials. Debra, Mona and Anita receive a roasting from Sir Alan, but Anita's singled out as the person responsible for the failure of the task. 'You were on the back of the van. You saw the money flowing out,' says Sir Alan. 'You showed no initiative' and Anita is the first casualty of the boardroom.

A good start by the boys but it's plain to see divisions have already started to form. I think Howard did a good job as PM and told Phillip not to clean car interiors, the latter did not adhere to this instruction and the boys found themselves under pressure fromt he start. Meanwhile Howard's team seemed to do well in their shoe shining efforts and made a decent return on their minimal investment.

The girls were disorganised, Mona didn't really seem like she wanted to be PM. Her management of the team was poor and she should have kept tabs on how much money was being spent on equipment. Kate had the right idea when she said they were spending too much on materials but she wasn't vocal enough. In the boardroom Anita got the heave ho because she didn't fight her corner although the real culprit was Mona who now lives to fight another day.

First impressions:

Noorul Choudhury - He reminds me of Mani from series 3, smug and full of himself.

Debra Barr - Loudmouth who got caught out lying in the boardroom by Mona. She'll cause plenty of trouble but I'm sure SAS will like her feisty attitude in the boardroom.

Phillip Taylor - Can't follow orders and I think he's going to try and be a leader from the start.

Mona Lewis - Way out of her depth, talks rubbish and it won't be long before she is gone.

Anita Shah - Unlucky to get fired on this occasion, but lets face it, with a face like hers, she wasn't going to win anything!
No one really shone in this first epsiode

Comic Relief does the Apprentice

I caught the first part of the Comic Relief version of the Apprentice tonight. The boys lined up with Jonathan Ross, Jack Dee, Alan Carr, Gok Wan and Gerald Ratner and the girls team lined up with Ruby Wax, Michelle Moone, Fiona Phillips, Patsy Palmer and Carol Voderman. The guys team looked pretty solid despite being filled with comedians!

The task set this time round was a little different, rather than raising funds from their celebrity friends, the teams had to design and market a new toy. The girls picked Lingerie boss Michelle Moone as their project manager and the boys picked Gerald Ratner as theirs but I think Jonathan Ross really wanted to take the lead.

The guys went with Ross's idea of having a belt with hooks on, with attachable characters to be collected seperately. The girls team went with a velcro body suit with a dice to create a 'Twister' type game. Patsy had a spat with Michelle, because she didn't like being told what to do, although it just made her look like an idiot for walking out and then coming back. The guys seemingly got on well despite Jonathan's best efforts to wind up Jack.

The guy's presentation was far superior, although their product was weak and their add was a little amateurish. The girls had a superior product concept, although the design looked a little cheap, their advert was a lot better than the boys but still lacked quality.

In the boardroom Sir Alan decided quizzed the two teams, Patsy mentioned that she thought Michelle was a bad project manager, hmmm still a bit bitter? Jack came out with the line of the night when he said "Sir Alan, if you are in the mood of firing someone, may I suggest the person who counts the chairs". The girls won the task and one of the boys gets fired on tonights Comic Relief special. I'll take a guess and say Jonathan gets it!